Living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder can feel like trying to find your way in a world that doesn’t match your mind.
Have you spent years fighting the shame caused by missed deadlines, disorganized thoughts, and being misunderstood? These aren’t character flaws, they’re a neurobiological difference.
From a place of compassion, you can begin ADHD/ADD therapy to help you master these management strategies:
- Audit of Success: Use research-backed psychoeducation to identify options that work for you.
- Precision-Fit Grid: Follow a customized routine for consistency and calm.
- Hyperfocus Blueprint: Harness the energy and creativity that get buried under the weight of everyday tasks.
At Therapy By You, we help you understand the truth about your ADHD or ADD before beginning treatment. Call (248) 919-8092, or contact us today to get started!
ADHD Truths: Why It’s a Condition, Not a Choice
Before you can begin to discuss strategies for managing your ADHD, you must address the shame that often surrounds it.
Have you been called “lazy,” “unmotivated,” or “inconsiderate”? These are words that some people use to describe people with ADHD.
It’s important for you to remember that your ADHD is not a character flaw; it’s a neurobiological difference.
Here are some things to help you start to look at your brain through a lens of compassion instead of criticism:
1. A Difference in Brain Architecture, Not Character
ADHD is not a moral failing or a lack of willpower; it is a neurobiological reality.
Scientific brain scans show that people with ADHD often exhibit a delayed developmental pattern in their prefrontal cortex. This is the area of the brain that’s responsible for planning, organizing, and emotional regulation.
If your brain were an orchestra, your prefrontal cortex would be the conductor. When the conductor gets distracted, the performance becomes disorganized.
It’s not that the musicians aren’t talented or trying their hardest; it’s simply that the internal guidance system is still finding its rhythm.
2. The Dopamine Drip and the Motivation Gap
Motivation is fueled by dopamine, the neurochemical responsible for feelings of reward and completion.
Most people without ADHD get tiny amounts of dopamine when they finish small tasks, like reading a sentence in a book.
In an ADHD brain, that reward system is hindered. That same sentence might be difficult to read, but the ADHD brain can stay hyper-focused on a high-speed video game.
Remember, it’s not that your brain is lazy; it’s just starving for stimulation.
3. The Shame Loop of Constant Correction
From a young age, people with ADHD tend to receive a lot of negative feedback. This often leads to negative consequences over time.
If people regularly accuse you of failing, you might start to believe you’re a failure. This creates a “shame loop,” where you stop trying to succeed because you hope to avoid the pain of another crash.
Understanding ADHD means realizing your failures are probably due to just a mismatch between your brain and an unforgiving environment.
4. An Evolutionary Asset in a Modern World
From an evolutionary perspective, many ADHD traits were once advantages.
A high-alert, novelty-seeking brain was the perfect lookout for a tribe. And the ability to hyper-focus was a helpful tool for tracking and problem-solving.
ADHD only became “disabling” when society shifted toward sitting still for hours to focus on certain tasks.
You’re not broken; your vibrant, fast-switching brain is trying to operate in a low-stimulation world that wasn’t built for you.
Therapy By You: Reclaim Your Life from ADHD/ADD
You’ve spent enough time fighting your brain, which isn’t built for a one-size-fits-all world.
It’s time to stop the shame loop and start engineering a life that works for you. At Therapy By You, we help identify your ADHD truths, and offer these strategies:
- We help you identify why past methods failed, and unlock what actually works for your brain.
- Move past general advice to design customized daily routines that offer consistency and calm to your life.
- Show you how to start harnessing your natural creativity and energy as an advantage in your career and relationships.
Your ultimate reward is gaining the presence of mind to lead your own life. Call (248) 919-8092, or contact us today to schedule an appointment!
