Marriage is built on love and commitment, but is that enough to ensure a lasting, fulfilling relationship? Research says couples who invest in premarital counseling are 31% less likely to divorce and report higher marital satisfaction (Premarital Education Study, Marriage Prep 101). Whether you’re newly engaged or thinking about the future, premarital counseling can help you lay the foundation for a resilient, thriving marriage.
What are the Benefits of Premarital Counseling?
- Improved Communication & Conflict Resolution – Learn strategies to avoid resentment and improve communication.
- Financial Planning & Money Mindset – Align your financial goals and avoid future stressors.
- Stronger Commitment & Relationship Satisfaction – Develop skills to strengthen intimacy and connection.
- Lower Risk of Divorce – Premarital counseling can reduce divorce risk by ~30%.
What the Science Says About Lasting Marriages
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”– Dr. John Gottman
Gottmans Four Horsemen of Relationship Destruction
🚫 Example: In an argument about finances: Anna tells Jordan, “You never plan ahead! You’re so irresponsible!” (Criticism). Jordan rolls his eyes and mutters, “Oh great, here we go again” (Contempt). When Anna calls him out, he says, “Well maybe I wouldn’t have to handle money if you weren’t so bad at it” (Defensiveness). Jordan then storms out (Stonewalling).
👉 Premarital counseling helps couples identify and replace these patterns before they take root.
In session we’lll explore what triggers theses horsemen and practice the antitodes to prevent them from runing a converstaion that can otherwise prove to be helpful for the longevity of your relationship!
- Gentle Startup– Express concerns without blame or fault to create a space where your partner can truly listen.
- Appreciation– Show gratitude for your partner’s efforts beyond just the moment they occur; reinforce positive behaviors consistently.
- Responsibility– Acknowledge how your actions or inactions contribute to discomfort in your partner and take ownership of them.
- Self-Soothing– Recognize when you’re becoming overwhelmed and take proactive steps to regulate your emotions before they escalate.
✅ Example (Using Healthier Communication Skills):
In a discussion about finances: Anna says, “I’ve been feeling stressed about our budget and would love to plan it together” (Gentle Startup). Jordan responds, “I appreciate how much you handle our finances, it’s something I never liked to do. I want to be more involved, but don’t know how.” (Appreciation). Anna adds, “I realize I sometimes make decisions without checking in, and expect you would check a. I want us to do this as a team, so we can both repect our budget” (Responsibility). When Jordan feels overwhelmed, he says, “I need a quick break, but let’s revisit this in 15 minutes” (Self-Soothing).
Common Myths About Premarital Counseling
🚫 “Counseling is only for struggling couples.”
✅ Reality: Counseling strengthens even happy relationships.
🚫 “I’m not religious, so it won’t work.”
✅ Reality: Counseling is based on psychological techniques, not just faith-based methods.
🚫 “It’s just talking—we won’t learn practical skills.”
✅ Reality: Sessions include interactive exercises and tools for long-term success.
What to Expect in Our 8-Week Premarital Counseling Program
Week 1: Intake, Love Story & Gottman Checkup
Week 2: Individual Intake Sessions
Week 3: Gottman Assessment Review & Relationship Roadmap
Week 4: Conflict, Communication & The Science of Connection
Week 5: State of the Union & Relationship Maintenance
Week 6: Future Planning – Money, Careers & Family
Week 7: Building Shared Meaning & Cultural Integration
Week 8: Closing Session & Long-Term Relationship Growth
Works Cited:
- Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. Harmony Books.
- Williamson, H., et al. (Year). Premarital education linked with better communication, higher commitment, and lower odds of divorce. Journal of Family Psychology.
- MarriagePrep101. (n.d.). Premarital education benefits: Higher marital satisfaction & lower divorce rates.
- Wolcott Counseling & Wellness. (n.d.). Premarital counseling benefits: Communication, conflict resolution, and proactive relationship skills.